The more I read my devotional “Love Talk” by Drs. Les and Leslie Parrott, the more I appreciate their input. The last two days especially helped me to look at something that we guys let go by. PRAISING OUR SPOUSES.
Have you ever been out with some guys and heard one of them run their wife down? How did that make you feel? Have you done that in the past? Surely not! It’s easy for guys to self-praise.
“Did I tell you about my promotion?” “Did I tell you that I met Coach Cal last week?”
Well, I haven’t and I didn’t …. but watch them happen and then see me look for opportunities to mention them.
My devotional says in social situations it’s often easy to distinguish loving couples from warring ones. Most everyone has been at a party where one half of a couple has taken a public jab at the other. Perhaps it was along the lines of “I keep wishing that John would get out of his recliner, turn off the television, and help me out in the garden like he keeps saying he will!” It is a bad idea to use the cover of an audience to say something you wouldn’t say in private. Couples who can’t contain their criticisms in public are in serious trouble.
Loving couples, on the other hand, enjoy boosting each other in front of others and casting each other in the best light. Loving couples praise one another in private and public. So, when you have an opportunity to praise yourself, take a rain check.
Remember Proverbs 27:2
“Let someone else praise you, not your own mouth—a stranger, not our own lips.”
But when the opportunity arises to tactfully compliment your spouse, don’t let the opportunity slip by. You say you need some help. So do I. The Parrott’s had a great exercise to help couples role model a relationship that will bring glory to God.
A PRACTICAL STEP TO TRY:
Take a little notebook or a note card, and take turns passing it back and forth. You may exchange it once a month, once a week, once a day, or sporadic. That’s up to you all. The goal is to simply use this journal as a way to tell your spouse one thing about him or her that you’re especially grateful for that day. Then set the journal on your spouse’s desk or pillow or wherever you know it will be found and read. Then your spouse will make a gratitude entry about you and eventually pass it back so you can read it. Rules: you have to be intentional and genuine. Guys, don’t do this as merely a task to check off your to do list. Put some thought in to it. Open your eyes and notice what is right in front of you. Make sure it comes from the heart.
Ok, you have your assignment. I can tell you are already thinking. That’s good. Now write it down and give to her.